Image by Jeremy Brooks
** This is a post by Sarah Winfrey, one of the shortlisted applicants for our staff writer **
When you’re setting up to live a location independent lifestyle, the support of the people around you can make life much easier – or so hard you might think you’ll never get there.
Unfortunately the location independent lifestyle lends itself easily to some blatant misconceptions. If you can help change these misconceptions, you’ll help ease the worries of those around you and enable them to be more free to support your new endeavor.
Below are the misconceptions I’ve run into the most as I prepare to make a location independent move…
A Location Independent Lifestyle Means No Work & Mostly Play
It’s hard for some people to understand that a location independent lifestyle is not necessarily akin to running away from adult responsibilities and going somewhere where you can sleep, eat, and surf on $2 a day.
A few of these people will criticize and a few will want to take advantage of your time and energy, so it’s up to you to help them see that you’re still living the life of an adult human being, making your own choices and doing it on your own terms. A few things that might help:
- Remind them that you’re an entrepreneur. Like any entrepreneur, you will probably end up working longer hours, at least in the beginning, than most 9-to-5ers. Talk to people about everything you’re doing to get your business started, how much extra you’re working on top of your day job, etc. and let them see the reality of your journey.
- Insist on scheduling social activities and visits around your working hours. If people are already talking about visiting you in your new location, let them know that, while they’re more than welcome to come (if they are), you will need at least X amount of time each day for work. Tell them that you’d be happy to show them around in the evenings and on weekends, or during a scheduled vacation time, but you will need to to keep to your schedule other than that. Then stick to it.
- Talk about the planning behind your move towards location independence. Explain that you know how much money you’ll need to make every month and that you’re committed to making that. If you don’t mind, share the figure. A lot of people think that living overseas is considerably cheaper than it actually is, and will realize the work you must be doing when they hear the actual figure it may be.
Location Independence Means Not Being Tied Down…to Anything
Staying connected over a long distance is harder for some people to deal with than it is for others. When they envision you moving someplace far away, they fear never hearing from you again. It will help them support your location independent move better if they know that they will not be forgotten. Here are a few suggestions for doing that:
- Set up a way to keep in touch. Whether it’s through newsletters, a blog you update and they can comment on, regular Skype conversations or email exchanges, knowing that you’re committed to keeping in touch can help people support your move toward location independence instead of taking a skeptical stance or even sabotaging your efforts.
- Make a small folder of photos, letters, and other memorabilia to take with you as you change locations. Let people know that they are part of this, and that you plan to look through the folder regularly, as a way to keep your memory fresh and to remind you to stay in touch.
- Think through your priorities before you leave. If your grandmother’s death is something you would return for no matter what, let your family know so they’re sure to include you. If you really want to go to that high school reunion next summer, buy plane tickets now and let people know that you’ll be there. Setting up plans in advance will help reassure those around you that you aren’t just going to disappear forever.
A Location Independent lifestyle Is A Romantic’s Dream Come True
There are some romantic ideals that the thought of living location independent taps into… like utter freedom, gallivanting across the world at a moment’s notice, and passionate love affairs on every continent.
If you want true support as you start your location independent venture, you’ll want to correct these gently and firmly, so people know what they’re really supporting when they support you.
- Remind romantics of a few of the difficulties–loneliness, isolation, functioning in a language that is not your own, learning to do every day activities in the context of a different culture. Explain that, while you’ve embraced these difficulties, you’re not blind to them and in fact, see them as part of the draw of a location independent lifestyle.
- Explain (again) the time you might need to spend working, even while living in exotic locales. Reiterate the fact that, while you want to see the sites and experience the world’s cultures, it’s not necessarily going to be one big adventure party. Most of your days will be structured and normal, just lived somewhere else.
- Smile and nod. Honestly, people who think you’re taking some romantic adventure can be the most supportive, even if they don’t understand what they’re really supporting. If they won’t listen, take their support with gratitude but take their advice with a grain of salt.
Enjoy The Journey…
It can be frustrating to have to explain these things, particularly when you’ve thought them through so many times yourself and have made your decision.
It helps me to remember that the people you’re explaining yourself to (sometimes over and over) are concerned because they love you. Their concern may be misguided, but they want the very best for you and are afraid you’ll miss it if they don’t speak up.
For the most part, a long conversation over coffee helps them come around, and having their support can be worth the frustration of yet another explanation.
I’d love to hear about your journey. What misconceptions have you encountered in your journey towards location independence? Have you chosen to combat them? How?
Nicely put! I can’t count the number of people who think moving across the ocean to follow dream isn’t hard work.
Of course, the longer I stay in one spot the more people are willing to see the work I put in. As if work and location are tied together somehow…
My experience thus far (a little over a month and a half into my LIP lifestyle) has been that 1) many people assume I’m either independently wealthy or lying about how I live, 2) if you allow other people to choose where you go next (which I’m doing), they will either try to send you to a war zone or a place where they want to go to vacation (not necessarily very interesting locals), and 3) they ALWAYS ask about how relationships work, how they could never leave so-and-so behind, how they wouldn’t be able to live without this or that or a full closet of clothing.
It’s been really eye-opening for me, because I’ve been hearing a lot of my old thoughts coming out of other people’s mouths, and in the 5 or so months since I first started planning my escape, I’ve done a lot of growing and changing away from that mindset.
Really solid article, Sarah. Hopefully we’ll be seeing more from you!
Some good points to think about.
I only moved a few timezones over so far. I have always kept fewer attachment points than most people (family is scattered).
There are always those things that are still vastly different than most peoples’ lives though!
Sarah – I know EXACTLY what you mean with the “all play and no work” fallacy. I use to run a business that catered to, and revolved around, nightly recreational and social activities for adults.
There was always this prevalent misconception that I had the “greatest job in the world”in which there was no work involved – people truly thought that I rolled out of bed at noon, ate lunch, diddled around on the computer for a bit, took a nap, and then headed out to the social events to party all night long.
The reality was 60-70 hour work weeks with deadlines. I don’t remember any “nap time” being involved. And though I tried explaining this to the same people over and over again, it wouldn’t sink in. People refused to believe that it took real work to make that business successful.
So, in answer to your question – “do you bother to correct them?”
I stopped trying to explain and let them believe what they wanted to believe. It wasn’t worth the wasted energy….
I just got back to South Africa, after spending the last 9 months in the UK, working FULL-TIME in a location independent way (including a 4-week trip to the USA over that time), and if I could get a pound (or even a rand) for every person who’s said, “Welcome back from your holiday!” then I’d be rich!
I tried explaining that I was working full-time during that time, but very few people can wrap their heads around the idea :) Now I just smile and nod.
I’m enjoying all your thoughts! As I talk to more and more people who are location independent, it seems like there’s a split as to whether LIs should try to explain their lifestyle or not bother. I’ve taken the “explain it” route myself, because I value my relationships and I like helping people think about things in a bigger way. Any thoughts on this? Do you try to explain?
Awesome topic.
As LIPers who take our home-on-wheels with us and visit people – we’ve run into similar situations. Most folks are used to having a guest who is on vacation, they tend to want to host and play tour guide, and feed us full of their favorite foods. As our life is being on the go all the time, if we ate heavy meals daily and spent all our time being a tourist – we’d be very unhealthy and never get anything done!
So yes, we definitely take the time to set proper expectations before we arrive somewhere – making it clear we have a workday, that they shouldn’t take a lot of time off work and that we’ll have plenty of social time during their off hours. Explaining that we’re more like ‘temporary neighbors’ than guests usually goes a long way to setting the example.
Our other situation is when we rendezvous with folks while they’re on vacation – our visiting styles are very different. They’re usually on a vacation budget and we’re on our every-day budget – so we have to set expectations that we can’t keep up in eating out at expensive places, going to shows, parks, etc. And of course, that we have work to do too.
– Cherie
Great article, Sarah! As an LIP, I have indeed grappled with most of these issues, the main one being the perception that I’m lolly-gagging about all the time. But generally after one round of explanations with somebody, I then graduate to the tried and true: nod and smile!
-Nora
Hello from Russia!
Can I quote a post in your blog with the link to you?
This article is a hoot. When I started talking about LIP and full-time RVing 10 years ago people told me I was crazy. After 30+ years largely working in law firms, I work harder now as a LIP than I ever did when I was in an office 12 hours a day! And yet people still seem to think I’m footloose and fancy free. When I respond to emails at 3AM (after finally finishing a rush project of some sort) folks ask what I was doing awake at that hour. I point out that I just finished work and they think I’m crazy.
One of my most popular blog postings was something I threw up after working endless hours on a rush project. My critters were SOOO unhappy with me and were giving me a bad time. Friends thought it was funny, but people who know me well knew it was real: http://www.bloggersbase.com/business-and-finance/location-independence-critter-style/
It is important, however, to stay in touch with people. I find when I don’t post on my regular haunts even day people start looking for me. And it’s nice to know people care.