
Image by Amy Palko, the “official” Location Independent Photographer.
Leigh-Anne, in China says:
I have bouts of intense productivity, enthusiasm and excitement about working towards becoming Location Independent…and then periodically, a niggling sense of self-doubt pervades me, acute waves of panic hit, usually in conjunction with my checking my bank balance.
During these times, I have a tendency to stagnate in a counter-productive funk for a while before something will jolt me into action or inspire me to surge forward with gusto again.
I would like to know what tips or strategies you would recommend for keeping motivated and “on task” and also for dealing with the kind of negative emotions that hinder efforts for pursuing my own Location Independent lifestyle.
I want to recognize the right steps that I need to take – and remain positive, focused and confident.
The Coach’s Answer
Cath says:
Sustaining focus and motivation when you’re making big changes and getting closer to what you want is a common challenge!
It sounds like you already have a clear picture of the location independent lifestyle you want to create for yourself – and you have a location independent source of income, so you’ve already solved some big problems and you’re making good headway on your goals – although you’re worried about whether you’ll have enough money.
Here are some tips to help you sustain your enthusiasm, focus and motivation when fear gets in the way:
Resource Alert: “I have bouts of intense productivity, enthusiasm and excitement about working towards becoming location independent.”
You obviously know how to be excited and motivated because you’re doing it sometimes. So I suspect that for you, it’s not a matter of learning practical productivity/ time management/ project management tools.
And the fact that you’re motivated and excited about it a lot of the time says you’re on the right track in terms of knowing what direction you want to go in and what you authentically love.
When you’re doing what you love, the motivation will flow naturally and you don’t have to drive yourself with willpower – that’s always the more desirable and sustainable form of motivation.
So what’s getting you stuck?
“Then periodically, a niggling sense of self-doubt pervades me, acute waves of panic hit, usually in conjunction with my checking my bank balance. During these times, I have a tendency to stagnate in a counter-productive funk for a while…”
When we’re on track and doing what we love, or on our way to bringing what we love into our lives, a lot of the time we’ll be naturally motivated, but there’s one thing that can totally sap our motivation, paralyze us and create that “funk” you talk about… fear!
A part of our brain, often fondly referred to as “the reptilian brain” (because it’s similar in structure to a reptile’s brain) is biologically programmed to be freaked out about two things – lack and attack.
Of course, your inner lizard is there to protect you and to ensure your survival and so it’s concerned to ensure that you have enough of your basic needs and that you can protect yourself from potential attack – hence it worries about lack of money.
The problem is that while your inner lizard has only 3 tactics that it deploys to deal with problems:
- Paralysis
- Running (flight)
- Fighting
The inner lizard’s behaviour is really useful in situations where your physical survival really is at stake and pretending you’re dead or running and fighting are viable solutions to your problems.
It’s not very useful however when you’re dealing with other types of challenges, such as figuring out how to develop your business, identifying the opportunities to increase your income, and working out the details and practicalities to support your location independent lifestyle.
The other problem is that our inner lizards are a bit paranoid – they tend to have a “rather safe than sorry” policy so they go crazy when they’re faced with any form of change, uncertainty or risk – even if those changes are going to bring good things into our lives.
So here’s how you can tame your lizard, get out of that funk, think clearly again – and start getting stuff done:
1 – Start noticing what your inner lizard is on about. Notice what triggers get your inner lizard riled up. You already have an idea – money stuff and looking at your bank account. Keep some notes of what your inner lizard is saying to you during these times.
2 – Entertain your inner lizard. For a few minutes ask it, “What are you afraid will happen? And if that happened, what would be bad about that? And what are you afraid would happen then?”…and let it catastrophize.
Write it all down – lizards can be slippery and change their stories when they’re challenged! It’s important to be aware of what you’re afraid about – and to really pin it down. Nothing is more disempowering and disabling than generalized anxiety. So get specific about what your inner lizard is on about.
3 – Ask your inner lizard what it’s trying to do for you – and thank your inner lizard for being concerned for your safety and whatever else it’s trying to do for you. Yes, I know it’s a bit kooky, but this is an important step to ensure that you can access the wisdom in your fear. Often your fear is pointing out something you need to deal with or change – and when you’re just trying to bulldoze your fears, you can miss these important signals.
4 – Start kindly questioning your inner lizard. Ask it, “Is that true that I’ll end up a hobo on the street?” (or whatever else it’s saying to you). “What evidence have I got that that story might not be true?”
5 – Remind your inner lizard of your resourcefulness. Make a list of all the difficult stuff you’ve survived and then write down all the resources (internal and external) that you used to survive those experiences. Notice which of these resources would help you to deal with the stuff you’ve been fearing recently.
6 – You’ll notice that your illegitimate fears will have dissolved by now. And you’ll be left with only legitimate fears – in other words, specific problems that need to be solved. Ask yourself what problems still need to be solved so that your inner lizard can relax? Now ask yourself what resources you still need to develop, in order to address those problems. Now ask yourself what resources you already have, that will enable you to develop those resources that you still need.
There’s no way to permanently switch off your inner lizard – and that’s a good thing because our physical survival is important.
But you’ll find that once you start chatting with your inner lizard in this sort of way, the paralysis and “funk” will lift, you’ll get a more realistic view of reality that includes both the risks and your resources – and you’ll know what risks and problems you need to address next and how you’ll do that, so that you can go forward with authentic confidence.
And here’s the Twitter-style answer:
You are not your fears. Chat with your fears, get the wisdom and dissolve the stuff that’s not true. Tame your inner lizard & your clarity & focus will return.
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Over the past few months I’ve been becoming very aware of the underlying emotions that are driving my behaviour. To the extent that I’m starting to only make decisions when I’m in a positive state of mind. It’s an old-school self-help method but I’ve come to understand it on a much deeper level.
I think a lot of problems that people create for themselves are either because they are operating under negative emotions or from your body / mind trying to get you back into a situation where you can experience those negative emotions because it has become habituated to them.
These are great tips for focusing on your goals rather than your fears.
An absolutely brilliant post which I personally found enlightening and very helpful. I thought my challenge was "inconsistency" but I understand now it's just the "funk" caused by fear. Many thanks indeed – I'll be using this info again when I'm next hit by a paralysis!
Leigh-Anne, Cath is right on when she says this is pretty common. I read an article a while back that made me feel a lot less less like a crazy/lazy person. It's a bad idea to use the psychology behind these feelings as an excuse to procrastinate, but I find it helps apply solutions like Cath's when I understand something about the underlying mechanisms.
Entrepreneurial Manic-Depression
This is exactly the stage I'm in right now. I have come to the point in my life where I will be forced to step outside of my usual comfort zone to grow and succeed and my inner lizard is NOT happy.
I can attest to the usefulness of inner dialogue. When you turn off all the noise in your head about how something could never work and ask yourself specific questions about why, solutions become a LOT easier to find.
I experience the same feelings. Every few days I'll get all worried and doubtful, feeling like I'm making loads of mistakes. I do a couple of things to remedy it:
1. Force myself to start and finish a blog post. Any form of progress will do, but forcing myself to write is both productive and something I have complete control over.
2. Turn on some bright music and remember what I'm aiming for. I have a very specific type of lifestyle I'm aiming for, so I just start remembering what it'll be like to finally attain it.
:)
I'm on my second business and the reptile brain reaction to the lack (of money) period both times resulted in all three desires to freeze, run and fight. Fortunately my desire to succeed is stronger and tells the reptile to go back to sleep. ;)
What a brilliant post. Thanks for sharing those smart tips about focusing my goals rather than focusing my attention on fears.