Image by Amy Palko, the official Location Independent Photographer.

Kim from the USA says…

I have always wanted a unique and indie lifestyle – and was disappointed for all of five minutes when I was laid off in January. I am a newly single mom and despite being somewhat buried under the fallout of a year working full-time in Manhattan without sufficient child-support (it cost me $10K to work 60 hour weeks through 2008), I decided to try my hand at working at home.

I decided initially to try my hand at virtual assisting but I haven’t found it to be something that I can get “secure” in- even with 5 regular clients – the work is erratic and I end up not billing for a lot of the work I do. Most importantly, though, it’s not something I can get too passionate about and it’s not too different from my old job, which wasn’t super fun.

I have seven weeks and counting of unemployment left before I’m out on my own. I’m terrified of having to return to an office and my kids will be miserable again. I can’t sleep and I feel too mixed up to find a proper path. I want so badly to get a sustainable home business but I have negative capital and I’m running out of time. If I can net $400 a week initially, I can tread water. I want a stable, steady place to live and the ability to pay off my debts and live without worry. How can someone as confused and scared as me start-up successfully?

I LOVE working and being productive but I literally toss and turn till 6am out of fear I can’t make this work. I can feel every second ticking away but I don’t know how to get started – where? what? etc.

Do you have any advice for me? Thanks so much in advance!

The Coach’s Answer

Cath says:

Kim, so many parents struggle with juggling their own needs and dreams with their children’s needs and dreams. I love that you obviously recognise that part of being a great mother is about being a role model to your children and living your own dreams. So let’s mine your resources and look at how you can get unstuck:

Resource Alert: “If I can net $400 a week initially, I can tread water.”

It sounds like your expenses aren’t exorbitant – that means you’ve created a lot of flexibility for yourself so that you don’t have to earn a massive amount of money – and you have room to grow a business without too much risk.

Resource Alert: “I LOVE working and being productive”

Awesome! You’ll have the ability to do the hard slog that establishing and sustaining your own business requires. And you obviously know HOW to be productive, so this isn’t about teaching you time management and productivity tools.

So what’s getting you stuck?

“I literally toss and turn till 6am out of fear I can’t make this work… How can someone as confused and scared as me start-up successfully?”

You’re spot on – in order for you to be able to think clearly and be productive, you need to get out of stress and fear. Stress and fear cause biological changes in our brains, which literally change the way we think.

These changes power our bodies to run faster and fight harder (the survival fight or flight response), but unfortunately cause very blinkered thinking that makes it difficult for us to think creatively, to see the bigger picture, to take in new information, to learn, to make decisions and to see opportunities and solutions – all the mental resources that you most need, in order to successfully establish your business!

You need to get out of stress and fear, so you can restore and protect the quality of your thinking.  Below are a few tips and you can also download my free coaching audios on fear here.

“I don’t know how to get started”

It can be really overwhelming thinking of starting up a business, and the sense I have from reading your question, is that you know what you don’t want to do for work, but you’re unsure what you want to do instead.

And it can take a bit of time to discover what you’d love to do and turn that into a business. A good way to manage your fear and dissolve overwhelm is to break your big vision down into shorter-term projects that will take you progressively closer to your big vision, whilst managing your risks at the same time.

Here are a few things you can start with…

1.) Ask yourself how you could move in the right direction, without making drastic changes, so that you can ensure stability for your family.

For example, perhaps you could take up a part-time job that could cover the $400 per week that you require. If you could do this work while the children are at school then you wouldn’t need to pay for additional childcare – and you could have the stability of knowing that your bills are paid while you use the rest of your time to build your business.

If your kids aren’t in school yet, then see if you can find a group of women in your area who are working part-time and set up an arrangement to take turns looking after all the kids, so that you can all save on childcare. This is just one example – what other alternatives can you think of, for developing your business whilst sustaining a reliable income?

2.) Start building your tribe.

Doing stuff alone is HARD! Whether that’s looking after children, starting a business or marketing a business. I’d strongly encourage you to link up with other work-from-home moms, single mothers who have their own businesses and communities of other location independent people – they’ll have struggled with the same stuff you find difficult and you can share ideas for solving problems.

Even though independence is a really high value for most location independent people, the really successful and happy ones know how to do interdependence too – and they’ve got various tribes of people from whom they glean a lot of support and wisdom.

Also, the most important factor in marketing and growing your business is your relationships with other people. When you have a tribe of people who know, like and support you, they’ll do half the marketing work for you – often for free!

Establishing and growing a business that provides a sustainable income and building your ideal location independent lifestyle can take a bit of time. And it doesn’t have to be a big jump and a huge risk.

You can manage your fears and the risks by breaking your vision into smaller steps – and most importantly, through creating connections with other people who can support you on your journey.

And here’s the Twitter-style answer:

Get out of stress and fear so you can think straight. Break your vision into smaller steps and start moving forward through relationships and interdependence.

About The Coach: Cath Duncan is the resident Location Independent Life Coach. She also blogs about Agile Living at Mine Your Resources.

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