Image by mikebaird
** This post was written by Leigh Haugseth. Find out more about Leigh below **
It’s not unusual to experience some backlash when telling your friends and family about your switch to a location independent lifestyle. Fortunately from my own personal experience, most people are very supportive and curious.
But there are also those who are unsure of and cynical about your choice. When you’re going through a major transition in your life, any sort of negativity can make you doubt yourself – and there is simply no room for doubt when taking the plunge and starting your own new business and location independent life.
Having a strategy to deal with the naysayers and doubters in your life is vital to keep you focused and on track. Here are three tactics that can help…
Have Your ‘Elevator Speech’ Ready
People are more accepting when you sound very confident in what you’re doing. Even if you’re not, act like you are. Don’t lie, just tell them your goal and how you plan to get there. Don’t worry if you don’t have all the details, they don’t need to know.
I’ve found it helpful to create a quick 20 second ‘elevator speech’. This comes from the idea that if you were stuck in an elevator with someone who wanted to know your plans, you could quickly give them a truthful, focused picture of what those look like.
When you’re giving your ‘elevator speech’, whatever you do, don’t be wishy washy. It’s better to just not bring it up at all rather than say something like: ‘Well, I’d really like to travel for a while and if I could somehow make money while doing this, well, that would be great too. I’ve got a couple of ideas and I’m going to see what happens.’ I said something similar when first considering the Location Independent lifestyle. It did not go over well.
Instead, be purposeful: ‘I will soon be transitioning into a location independent lifestyle. I’m currently working on a project(s) while still in my day job. When I leave, I will be doing XYZ full time. This will allow me to work from home or another location.’ This version is concrete and understandable. If you stay positive and speak with confidence, you’ll put others, as well as yourself, at ease. They may even offer to help you with your new venture.
Be Prepared For Negativity
Be prepared for some negativity, don’t take it personally and don’t hold it against the other person – they either can’t see outside their own box or they may be jealous and trying to drag you down.
Whatever the reason for their negativity, if after you tell them your ‘elevator speech’ and they’re still unsupportive, consider avoiding them altogether. Just be careful when doing this though as while some people are skeptical, it doesn’t necessarily mean they’re not supportive, they may just be looking out for your best interests. Consider educating them on the possibilities of your proposed lifestyle – but be careful not to preach.
Be equally prepared for these same, unsupportive cynics to be excitedly asking about your progress at a later date. In fact, count on it and try not be the least bit smug when it happens. Instead, talk with them about how they can do it too, if they’re interested. This will be infinitely more rewarding than saying I told you so.
Reassure Them
Help your friends and family understand that while you may not be in the same place for any extended amount of time, you will still be in touch just as much as you normally would – but maybe by different means. If you’re not able to visit as often, introduce them to Skype. It’s such a fun and easy way to stay in touch. Sometimes, I’m actually more in touch with friends and loved ones when I’m on the road because of the freedom I’m allowed.
Most importantly, remember that you are unique. You have the courage to step out of your cubicle/box/hum-drum life and venture off to travel or create your own ideal location independent dream and really LIVE.
You understand that this kind of life is possible and believe in yourself enough to make it happen. And if friends and family see that you’re happy in your new life, they are more likely to be supportive and happy for you.
These are some really great ideas. We are just beginning our journey (we have worked from home for several years, but next goal is to travel with our family) and so glad to have your site as a resource, thankyou : )
Emily
Some great tips, Leigh!
I’d add the following, which has really been important to me:
- find like-minded people who DO understand! So you don’t feel like a crazy person and get obsessed with “having to” make other people understand so you won’t be lonely.
Sometimes you’ll need to just bear the fact that some people important to you won’t understand your choices or might even be negative about it… sometimes you’ll have the sort of relationship where through further discussions they’ll “get it” and support you, and sometimes you might decide that you’ve outgrown the friendship.
The way I see it, when we feel misunderstood in a relationship, we have 3 options: love it (love the person and their response in spite of it not being your desired response), lead it (invest time, energy and love into developing the relationship and finding a way to understand each other), or leave it (as it says on the tin). We always have at least those 3 choices, and usually even more options.
This is an important topic – thanks for covering it
Cath
This post really struck a chord with me. I remember getting negative reactions from people who couldn’t imagine leaving the UK to live anywhere else. Luckily, there were just as many supportive people. Three years on, we know it’s the best decision we ever made.
This is very relevant, and definitely on time. Thank You for sharing!
Most people don’t understand if you want to travel OR if you want to give up a job and start a business so telling them that you are going to do both is going to be pretty far outside their comfort zone!
To be honest for most of them its not worth worrying about what they say – but my partner’s elderly mother has never really understood her middle aged son is now following me around the world – he’s the first in his family to travel, and although they don’t say it – its of course all my fault , which is true.
In the end you have to do what is best for you regardless of the opinions of others
Though I haven’t transferred to a location independent lifestyle yet, I think a big piece when my time comes is making them understand that I am being responsible. People usually think you’re being irresponsible but once they understand it is still a conscious, well planned, lifestyle changed they’ll feel much better and reassured.
Good stuff here, Leigh. I’ll be using your tips when the time comes.
Best,
Martin
Great post Leigh, and spot on.. I agree as well with Cath – for me – finding like minded people who totally “get” what you’re trying to do is essential if you are surrounded by people who don’t quite get it, or believe its possible.
Referring people to this blog if they don’t believe such a lifestyle is possible – is also a great tonic…
Not sure we own anyone an explanation. And the people who don’t get it want the biggest one.
Some people will never understand. But that’s ok, really. They think they’re losing you. I mean after all, you ARE moving away.
I think it’s important to gently reassure people that they’re NOT losing you, and that you’re not just moving away. They don’t have to understand, but it’s good to be sensitive of this when breaking the news to loved ones.
@Cath: I love your 3 options. Something to keep in mind for all kinds of situations.
@freebirdpro: I, too, have referred many people to the LI site. You are right, it’s sometimes easier than explaining it yourself. And it’s a great resource to boot!
@lis and @Tess: Agreed, we don’t owe anyone an explanation. However, with friends and family that you want to keep in your life, it’s helpful to find ways to try to help them understand, even if it’s just the basics. And share the rest with those who are on the same path.
Excellent tips, I image it can be an awkward situation. But, if properly prepared when the time comes the transition should go smoothly.